Show Me
by jamy21
Summary: As the evacuation of the captured humans on New Caprica begins, Kara Thrace is locked away in an unknown location. Will she find a way out? What is truly real, and what is in her head? Slight LeeDee KaraAnders Eventual KaraLee
1. Chapter 1

Title: Show Me

Author: Amy

Rating: M for future situations, including possible adult situations, violence, and language.

Spoliers: Season three, up to Precipice, AU for certain events, mainly Kara's time in captivity.

Summary: As the evacuation of the captured humans on New Caprica begins, Kara Thrace is locked away in an unknown location. Will she find a way out? What is truly real, and what is in her head? Slight Lee/Dee Kara/Anders Eventual Kara/Lee

A.N.- I've been an avid fanfiction reader for a long time, but this is my first time putting something out there for people to read,with the exception of a short ficlet. This is just a teaser, to find out if people are interested, so any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated.

--

The cylons were all sadists, she'd decided. They got off on pain, her's in particular. They got way too much joy out of watching the blood run out of her body. Stupid frakkers.

Kara Thrace was angry. And not just at the cylons.

She hated feeling like this. She knew it was wrong. She knew she had no right to be angry. But even so, she couldn't stop that voice in the back of her head that said that if Lee was here, he wouldn't have given up. If Lee was here, he'd fight until he couldn't fight anymore, and he'd save her ass from this hellhole.

But Lee wasn't here. Sam was. And she had to live with that knowledge. She had to live with that regret. Not that it was anything new. Regret was the constant in her life. Sometimes though, she wished she could take it all back, do it right. Stop being so damned afraid of letting him in. Maybe things would've turned out differently. Maybe they would've been better. Then again, maybe they would've been worse.

And now she'd never get the chance to find out.

---

Anastasia Dualla, or Dee as she was known to her friends, glanced over at the tense back of her husband. She couldn't help but compare him to the man he was when they had first gotten together. Back then, he had been strong, fit, sure of himself. Back then, he had been in love with her. Or so she had thought. Now she wasn't so sure.

Ever since they'd gotten word that they would return to New Caprica, her husbands mind had been somewhere else-or rather on _someone_ else. Kara Thrace, or Starbuck. Dee shook her head slightly in exasperation. Even after over a year the woman was controlling their lives. Every day that they grew closer to the rescue attempt, he drew farther and farther away from her. He hardly slept at all anymore, and when he did, he stayed on the opposite side of the bed from her. She was losing her husband slowly but surely, and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. And lately, she was running out of the strength to even care.

Staring at her husband's back, she attempted one last time to coach him into bed, although she knew it would be in vain. "Lee, you need to rest. You won't be of help to anybody if you can't stay awake."

He never even turned around. It's like he never even heard her.

---

Commander Lee Adama, callsign Apollo, ignored the imploring voice of his wife. He knew he was slowly killing their marriage with his coldness and inattentiveness, but he couldn't bring himself to care. The events that were set in place to occur shortly were so much bigger than the two of them. He couldn't be bothered to focus on their ongoing problems right now. She had to see that.

He didn't have time to sleep. He needed to check and re-check everything to ensure that he did the best he could to save as many lives as he could in two days. His father was sadly mistaken if he thought that he would be going into battle alone. There were people on that planet that he cared about, loved. Callie, Tyrol, Roslin, hell even Tigh in a way.

_And Starbuck,_ his mind taunted. He tended to drown that part of his mind out. It was better if he didn't think of her, otherwise he ran the risk of either throwing something in anger, or breaking down in fear. He hadn't heard from her in so long. He didn't know what had happened to her, if she was okay. He didn't know what he'd do if she didn't come back. All he could think about was the last true conversation they'd had, excluding her short call to him for Anders medicine.

_Flashback_

_"Were you even planning on saying goodbye?" Lee could see Kara's back stiffen, practically feel her building up her walls, giving into the anger that was ever-present around him._

_"I wasn't aware that you would care, sir," Kara answered, never even turning around._

_"That's bullshit Kara, and you know it. I can't believe that after everything we've been through, you would just leave without a word. Do I really mean so little to you?"_

_Finally Kara turned around, and he could see the tears in her eyes threatening to break free, however well she tried to hide them. _

_"Just don't Lee. Let it go."_

_But he couldn't. After everything, he couldn't let her get away that easy. "You don't even know him, Kara. How could you even think of marrying him? Yeah, he was there for you on Caprica, I get that, but can you honestly tell me that he's what you want? He doesn't understand you, he doesn't understand that you're Starbuck, not if he's asking you to leave. If he truly knew you, he wouldn't ask you to give everything up. He's not good for you Kara."_

_Finally Kara had had enough. "Oh, and you do? Give me a break, Lee. I'm a screw-up, remember? All I'm good for is frakking and fighting, right? I'm more trouble than I'm worth, aren't I? Well, not anymore. Why can't you just be happy for me? Why can't you accept that I finally have someone who loves me?"_

_"Because he doesn't love you! He doesn't even know you! And you don't know him. All you know is that he's a good frak. Soon you'll be bored with him, and you'll move on to the next best guy to frak.And then you'll regret leaving."_

_"Give it up, Lee. We've been doing this same old song and dance for so long, and I'm tired of it. So either congratuate me, or get out of my way."_

_They locked eyes for a long moment, before Lee turned away. "I can't do that. Not when you're throwing your life away. If you leave, you're dead to me."_

_She was silent for a moment, and then he heard the two words he never wanted to hear._

_ "Goodbye Lee."_

_And then she was gone._

_End Flashback_

Lee shook his head slightly. Thinking about that night only brought about more pain. They both knew that they regretted what had been said, but they were both too stubborn to admit it, to admit anything. They always had been, and that was the root of the problem.

_Stop it, _ he berrated himself. This train of though wouldn't help him at all. And besides, Starbuck would be fine. She was the strongest damn person he knew. She was a fighter. She'd be fine.

She'd be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

A.N.-Here's the next part. I'm not sure I'm satisfied with it, but I'm anxious to get to the next part, and if I keep editing this, I'll end up throwing it out completely. Reviews are welcome, and if someone is willing to Beta, I'll be forever in debt to them.

Copper.

Everything tasted of copper. Acrid. Metallic. Stifling. She couldn't remember far back enough to taste anything else.

Red. Everywhere she looked it was red. Dripping blood from her mouth, her hands, everywhere.

The sound of a whip flying through the air hit her ears moments before she felt the sting and heard the ripping of flesh on her backside. She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, opening an old wound, as she tried her hardest not to scream.

They were being particularly brutal today. Usually they would stop after a few hours, but not today. She thought they were somewhere around the sixth or seventh.

Suddenly the pain stopped, and she felt a cool touch on her chin as her face was turned toward the Boomer cylon. "Just tell him what he want's to know, and all your pain could go away."

Looking into the cylons eyes, Kara could almost believe the sincerity she saw in them, until she focused on the pain.

Drawing back her head, she opened her mouth and launched a wad of bloody spit at the Boomer model. "Go frak yourself."

Almost instantly she felt her knees shake as the tazer was once again applied, the only thing keeping her upright the chains attached to her arms.

"Have it your way."

As Boomer walked away, she couldn't help but give a slight tremble of her lips as the girl finally broke down when they began the electroshock on her.

Her screams pierced the ship, echoing off the walls.

-----

She opened her mouth to scream once again, only to find the sound lodged in her throat as she opened her eyes.

The cell was gone. The cylons were gone. Instead, she lay on a bed, staring into the eyes of a little blonde girl, Leobon standing to the right of her.

"Kara? Are you okay? You were having a nightmare," Leobon said, looking at her innocently.

Kara jumped up, spinning around in a circle, trying to figure out what had just happened. A nightmare? "Where am I?"

"You're in the apartment...where you've been the past three months. Kara, what's wrong?"

Kara ignored him, running from room to room looking for the torture instruments, tormentors, anybody to prove that she wasn't hallucinating. What the frak was going on?

Gods, she was losing her mind.

----

"We're losing power in our main thrusters, sir. We won't be able to last much longer," Helo's voice rang out amidst the explosions occurring all around them.

"We knew the risks. Keep fighting, we need to give these people a fighting chance," Adama yelled.

"Yes, sir."

Just as another nuke was about to hit the Galactica, something hit it, causing it to explode.

"Sir, it's the Pegasus," Helo yelled, excitement evident in his voice.

"God damnit, Lee," Adama muttered.

As fighters began to fly back in, the Pegasus held the Cylons at bay, giving the Galactica enough time to jump away. "Thank you, Lee."

----

Lee jumped out of the raptor to be greeted by his father.

"You picked a hell of a time to show up, son," Adama said by way of greeting.

Lee grinned. "Well, I had to make a bit of an entrance."

Adama smiled, pulling his son into his arms. As they separated, they were greeted by everyone else vying for the Admiral's attention.

As the hype began to die down, Lee noticed someone was missing. Looking towards Anders, he saw that the man was alone. _Where is Starbuck?_ he wondered. Looking towards his father, he could see the same thought on the other man's mind. They might not have parted in the best of terms, but she was family.

Adama turned towards Tyrol. "Chief? Where's Lt. Thrace?"

Tyrol hesitated. "She was taken a few days after the Cylons arrived, sir. We looked for her during the escape, but she wasn't in the detainment center. We don't even know for sure if she's alive." Tyrol paused. "I'm sorry."

Lee felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. Starbuck couldn't be dead. She was too damn stubborn to die.

Looking at the faces around him, he could see the shock in a few others' faces as well. Starbuck was infamous for being one tough bitch. She thrived on it. She wasn't supposed to go down like this. She was supposed to die in a viper, doing what she loved.

Adama walked over to his son. "Lee?"

Lee looked up at his father. "I..."

"I know son."

"She can't be dead, dad. She just can't."

Adama was silent. He didn't want to believe it either, but the truth was they had no way of knowing for sure. Even if she was still alive, they didn't know where to begin searching, or how. It wasn't as if they could radio a Basestar and ask if they could take a poke around for a missing pilot. "Lee..."

Lee looked at his father, at the defeat in his eyes. "I can't believe it. You're just going to give up, aren't you?"

"Lee..."

"She's been a better daughter to you than I've ever been a son. You love her more than anyone else on this ship. How can you just leave her?"

"She wouldn't want us to risk the fleet looking for her. She'd never forgive herself."

Lee shook his head. "We did it once, what's so different this time?" But even as he said that, Lee knew his father was right. It was too soon after the rescue mission. So many were already dead. Kara wouldn't want them to go looking for her. Even so, he couldn't help but feel like he was failing her in some way.

"Lee?" Lee looked over at Dee. _My wife, _he said to himself. He knew what she was thinking. It'd been a long standing feud between the two of them, his relationship with Starbuck.

Lee let out a sigh. He could feel the defeat and despair filling him. "Let's go find a place to bunk down."

_I'm so sorry Kara. Please forgive me._


	3. Chapter 3

A.N.-For continuity, even though this is now A.U. I am using Sharon's new callsign of Athena to avoid confusion.

----

Six Months Later

----

"Get that freak away from me!"

"How can you say that about your own daughter?"

Kara looked at Leobon out of the corner of her eye, gritting her teeth. "She's not my daughter. She's not even real. You're not real. NONE OF THIS IS REAL!"

Before Leobon knew what was happening,Kara jumped from her seat, throwing the startled man back and straddling him. Holding him down with her legs, she wrapped her hands around his throat, choking the life from him.

Suddenly she felt a sharp pain at her neck and she was thrown back.

----

The sounds of screaming filled the small jail like cell, as bodies hovered around the body strapped to the table.

"What's happening?" Sharon had a hard time keeping her face emotionless. She might be a cylon, but Starbuck had been her friend for over four years, or at least another version of herself, and the sound of her screams were downright chilling.

"She's fighting the hallucination. She's starting to catch on," the "doctor" explained. "Her mind is resisting the conditioning. She still refuses to accept that Kacey is her daughter."

"So what happens next?"

"If she doesn't improve in the next week, we go to plan B."

Plan B.

Kill her. Sharon briefly closed her eyes. They had to get her out of here.

----

"Sir."

Lee turned to the source of the voice, barely holding in a groan. Ever since their divorce had been finalized last month, Dee had been out for blood. "Yes Petty Officer?"

"The Admiral wants you in his office, _sir_," she said, with as much contempt in her voice as possible.

Lee heaved a sigh. At first he'd hoped that they would part amicably. She seemed to understand and agree with his reasoning. They never should've been married. They were both using each other to get over other people, and you couldn't build a marriage based on that. She had claimed she agreed with all of his points.

Then one day she turned around and decided to exact vengeance. He'd never understand women. At least she hadn't started another fight in the middle of the walkway again.

----

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Lee asked as he walked into his father's quarters.

"Yes. Take a seat, son," Adama replied, leading his son to the couch. "I just wanted to see how you were holding up."

Lee looked at his father. Really looked at him. He didn't like what he found. Ever since the rescue of the people of New Caprica, his father had seemed to age ten years. The loss of so many people, the constant need to be on your guard, was starting to wear at him.

Not to mention Kara. His father never spoke of her, but he knew how heavily she weighed on his mind. How he regretted leaving things with her. He knew, because he felt the same way.

Lee opened his mouth to reply to his father when Helo walked in.

"Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Athena and Racetrack say that they found an abandoned Raptor on their rounds. There doesn't appear to be anyone in it, and it looks like one of ours."

The Admiral turned to Helo, mistrust and a bone-weariness in his eyes. "I want a full team out there to surround it while it's being brought in. I won't take any chances."

"Yes, sir."

----

Everyone waited with bated breath as the ship was opened. Tyrol, gun in hand, poked his head through. For a couple of second he was still, before he let out a string of curses, and came back out.

"We need a frakkin' medic. NOW!"

Lee's heart nearly stopped. It couldn't be. Could it? He had no real reason to believe it was her, except that it could be. But if it was her, that brought up so many questions. Why would they have left her in there? Did they let her go for some reason? Did she escape or was she released? Was she even the same person anymore?

There was no reason to believe that the person inside the raptor was her, except there appeared to be no better explanation for the feeling that had been growing in his gut ever since word of the unmarked raptor had reached his ear.

Focusing back on the events unfolding in front of him, Lee watched as Tyrol once again went inside the ship, slowly coming out a few second later carrying something in his arms.

The air in his lungs seemed to leave him in a great breath as the figure in Tyrol's arms was laid gently on the ground.

Her face was obscured by hair matted with blood, her arms and legs were covered in bruises, cuts, scrapes, burn marks, anything else that one could thing of, and one arm was hanging at an odd angle as if dislocated and broken.

As the medics finally arrived and knelt down next to the figure, one of them brushed her hair aside, and her face was finally revealed.

One eye was completely swollen shut, her lip was cut, and she had blood running down her face, but there was no mistaking her.

And as Lee Adama stared at the broken face of Kara Thrace, something inside of him broke as well.

----

For days afterwards, all that was spoken of were the occurings aboard the Battlestar Galactica's Port Hanger. From the arrival of the long-thought-dead Kara Thrace, to the reaction of the normally stoic Commander Adama. The condition of the Lieutenant was horrific, to be sure, but no one could seem to stop talking or speculating about the reaction of Apollo.

They said that the cries were heard at the other end of the ship.

They said that he collapsed right in front of the crew. Curled up into a little ball.

They said that the wails that escaped from his mouth were some of the most disturbing noises they would ever hear in their life.


	4. Chapter 4

A.N.-Hey there, here's the next chapter. Please, please, please review if you read this, I need all the feedback I can get. I'm easily dissuaded from continuing if I feel like no one likes this.

---

Chapter 4

"Any word?"

Adama looked towards his son, the lines of worry and fatigue standing out starkly against his pale face. He was wearing himself out. "She's still unconscious, but her vitals are stronger."

Lee nodded. "Lee, you need to eat. There's a difference between dropping weight and emaciation. You're driving yourself into the ground, son."

Lee sighed. "I know. I've just been so worried about Kara. I'm with her every minute I'm not working. She's more important than food."

"Lee-"

"Dad, you know she is."

"I'm not disagreeing, son. But you're not going to help anyone if you pass out from sleep deprivation and malnutrition."

Lee was silent. He knew his father was right, but he felt like he owed it to Kara to stick by her side. Well, metaphorically anyway. He'd yet to actually go inside since the first day she'd been there. He'd tried to go in repeatedly, but his fear got in the way.

They'd waited so long, messed so many opportunities up, always afraid to show how they really felt for fear that it would ruin their relationship, and now it might be too late. He didn't know what he'd do if she didn't make it.

Adama sighed. "I'll have your meals sent to you, as long as you actually go sit by her bed." Lee looked up. "I know everything that goes on on my ship, son. I know you haven't seen her since she first got here. I'm willing to overlook a lax in your duties if you agree to sit by her. Who knows, maybe it will help."

Lee nodded. He could do that. He'd do whatever it took. He owed it to her. "Okay. After my CAP."

---

As she watched him walk around the deck after his CAP, pausing for a bit at Kara's viper, checking to make sure no one was watching him, and running his hand along the ship, Dee realized just how much Kara Thrace meant to Lee. And she was finally able to think of this without the signature anger attached. The thought hurt like hell, but not as much as she thought it would've.

She supposed it was due to the situation. The human race was nearly extinct, and they risked their lives day after day, never sure of what the next day would bring. Life altering situations tend to bring certain realizations to the surface, one of those being that to find true love, the sort that she could tell Lee and Kara felt for each other, was something so rare and special these days, that to get in the way of it was almost wrong. To find happiness these days was so rare, that no matter the circumstances, you couldn't seem to hate or begrudge that person their happiness.

It was with this thought in mind that she walked toward Lee, intent on letting him go, once and for all.

---

Lee looked around his office. He knew he was avoiding going to sickbay, and while he was ashamed of himself, he couldn't bring himself to go. He couldn't stand to see her looking so fragile and broken. It would break him.

On the upside things were finally better with Dee, which was a huge load off of his back.

Lee let out a huff of frustration. He was such a frakking wimp.

_Okay, Adama, time to be a man. Starbuck would be over there in a flash. _And with a deep breath, Lee left to go to sickbay.

---

Lee slowly sat down, never taking his eyes off of her. She was so damned beautiful, even with the fading bruises and cuts. A new wave of self-hatred came back at him full force. This was all his fault. If he hadn't have been such a frakkin' idiot and said all those things, she wouldn't have felt like she needed to get away from him so badly that she needed to move to New Caprica. It was all his fault, and he'd spend the rest of his life making it up to her, if she'd let him.

Gently taking her hand into his, Lee stared at her, just taking her in. He'd been denied her presence for so long, that to merely sit near her once again was causing him all sorts of feelings he'd been trying to deny for awhile.

Lee slowly brought her hand up to his lips, giving it a light kiss, before bringing it to his forehead, leaning his elbows on his thighs. He needed to get this off his chest before he exploded.

He opened his mouth, trying to force the words out, but nothing would come. He tried again, with the same result. On the third time he practically growled in frustration before forcing the first thing that came to mind out. "Kara Thrace you better wake up soon, or I'm going to have to demote you down to a petty officer. Nuggets are gonna be passing you up soon if you don't come back and practice soon." There, that was better. It wasn't what he needed to say, but it was something. "Who's gonna show them all the crazy moves, and teach them how to disrespect their superiors if you aren't there?"

Lee dragged in a breath of air as he suddenly choked up at the memory of all the times she'd stood up to him, or they'd flown together. She'd never backed down, never left him. He should've done the same.

"Kara...I'm so sorry. I'm more sorry than you'll ever know. I frakked up. I frakked up bad and I know it. I should've gone after you, I should've tried harder. You would have. I failed you and I'm more sorry than you'll ever know." Glancing up at her face, he saw that she hadn't changed at all.

Seeing her like that, so quiet and broken and so _not_ Kara, something inside of Lee snapped. Once again, he found himself breaking down. "God damnit Kara. You can't leave me," he cried into her hand, pressing it closer to his face. "I need you. Do you hear me? I need you. You can't leave me. Not until I've made it right. Not until I know you're going to be okay. I need my screw-up Lieutenant by my side to tell me when I'm being a frakking idiot and I need to pull the stick out of my ass, or pull me out of some crazy situation."

Lee paused to take a breath, sucking in great gulps of air. Everything seemed to wrong, nothing was as it should be. Kara shouldn't be in a hospital bed looking so frail. His father shouldn't look so old and beaten. None of them should be in this situation.

"Kara, just...just please come back to me. I can't do this without you."

Lee brought his head down to rest beside their intertwined hands on the bed, crying softly into the bed sheets.

---

Sam once again back silently out of the doorway, listening to Lee's tear filled declaration. The raw pain on Lee's face... it superseded any emotion that he'd expressed so far.

Apollo loved her in a way Sam would never be able to.

That thought stung, but he couldn't deny it. Especially not after he'd been on the ship for so long. It was hard to avoid the stories, especially once Kara showed back up. All anyone ever talked about was the legendary Starbuck and Apollo, and the crazy things the did for each other, and how the two were closer than anyone would have imagined, given their major differences. Hell, he'd heard enough stories from Kara herself, even after she insisted that she didn't miss Lee.

He knew that Apollo would have been down there after Kara in a second if he'd known what was wrong. And he knew that Kara knew. He knew that she would see it in his eyes when she saw him that he hadn't done anything to save her. He hadn't done anything to save her, yet she'd risked everything to go back and save him. Gods, he was an idiot.

The guilt was suffocating.


	5. Chapter 5

A.N.-Here's part five. You guys know the drill. After this, I'm going to by posting less, since this was the last part that already done. Hope you guys enjoy!

"Admiral Adama report to the lifestation. Admiral Adama please report to the lifestation."

Adama looked up from the papers on his desk for a minute, not moving, before getting out of the chair faster than he had in years.

Kara.

----

She didn't look at him at all. She just continued to stare straight ahead, as if she'd never heard him.

"Kara?" he tried again. He was her husband, damnit. If he couldn't get a reaction out of her, who would?

"Kara damnit, talk to me!"

She didn't even blink.

"Kara Anders, you better talk to me this instant. I'm your frakking husband, damnit."

Starting at the hand resting on his shoulder, he looked up at the face of Admiral Adama. "I think it's best if you leave now, son. She isn't going to respond."

Sam opened his mouth to retort, but then closed it again. If he were truly honest with himself, he knew that the older man was telling the truth. If we completely honest, he knew that he was probably one of the last people she'd respond to, at least in a positive manner. He'd abandoned her. He'd left her to those bastards. She'd risked her life to go back to Caprica and save him after knowing him for only a week and what did he do? Nothing. He was her frakking husband and he just sat on his ass at home twiddling his thumbs, convincing himself that it was too dangerous. He was a frakking coward.

Raising from the chair and walking towards the door, Sam turned around as he was about to walk through, stopping to watch the Admiral.

---

Bill Adama rested one hand on the bed, running the other through Kara's now long blonde hair. She really did look even more beautiful with longer hair.

"I know you don't want to talk. I'll respect your wishes. I can only imagine what they did to you." Bill paused to take a deep breathe. The anger that was simmering beneath the surface was fighting to make itself known as he thought about what was done to her.

But he had to stay strong. For Kara. He was her family. "I just want you to know that I'm here. Whenever you need me. I'm not leaving."

Bill looked at her for a few seconds before leaning down to place a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'm glad to have you back, Starbuck." As he began to pull back, he watched a tear run down her cheek, the only outward sign that she'd heard him. Smiling slightly, he squeezed her shoulder, before turning away.

She'd be fine.

---

Sam slipped out the door before the Admiral saw that he'd been watching the entire time. In all the time that he'd known her, he'd never once seen Kara shed a tear. He'd never seen the Admiral show that much emotion, for that matter. It was obvious that those two shared something that he would never understand. That he could help his wife in a way he would never be able to.

Hell, both the Adama men would do more to help his wife than he ever would. He knew that although Lee had been mostly absent from sickbay, that the man was not without his share of grief over the matter. He'd been there when Kara had been taken out of the raider. He'd heard Lee's screams. He'd watched Lee's breakdown a few days previous.

Hell, he watched as every day Lee Adama sank deeper into a pit of guilt. He could see it eating away at the other man as each day passed. And much as he used to dislike the guy for his hold over Kara, he had to admit that even he hadn't cared that much. And that hurt. To know that the man who hadn't seen her in almost two years was more broken up over her condition than her own husband. To know that the man who kara claimed she didn't even care that much about would be able to nurse her back to health when he couldn't.

And as Samuel Anders walked away from the sickbay, he realized that he had never had Kara Thrace. Not really. She belonged to the two men who were tearing themselves up over her, one in the room with her, one elsewhere, no doubt condemning himself for his actions.

And he knew that when she finally made it back to reality, that he'd have to let her go. And surprisingly enough, that though didn't hurt as much as he thought it would.

---

Lee knew she'd awoken; it appeared as though everyone had made it their mission to inform him of the fact. He was just too afraid to go visit her. Afraid to see the anger, the hurt, the mistrust in her eyes. She'd take one look at him and tell him to leave her, never see her again. She wouldn't want a coward around her.

Of course, his father insisted that Kara wasn't like that, and he had to admit that he might be blowing things a little out of proportion, but he just wasn't sure if he could take the chance. The thought of her hating him was bad enough, but if he actually had proof, it would tear him apart.

He wouldn't survive without Kara. The past two years when he'd been without her had been hell, but he'd still had the hope that one day she would return and they would fix everything. Now, she was back, but he wasn't sure if they _could_ fix everything. And he wasn't just talking about his failure to get her from the cylons. They'd hurt eachother plenty before she'd gone to the surface, said things they didn't mean, made bad choices. Was it really possible to put all of that behind them? They weren't exactly known for their patience and forgiveness.

He would just have to hope to the Gods that his father was right. He had to believe that Kara wouldn't turn him away, that Starbuck wouldn't turn away Apollo. That she wouldn't break up the dynamic duo. He had to.

---

As he drew nearer to the sickbay, he could hear the sounds of a struggle, and someone's voice yelling in protest. Feeling sick with apprehension, Lee looked in. What he saw made him stop in his tracks.

Kara lay on the bed, held down by three nurses, as Doc Cottle attempted to stick a needle in her. Kara was struggling against them, yelling, her eyes wide in stark terror.

"Please Gods no. Please no. Don't make me go back there. I don't want to go back there," she yelled over and over. Lee's heart clenched in pain, watching her.

Making a final decision, Lee stalked into the room and over to her bed. Taking her face in his hands, he forced her to look at him. "Kara. Kara look at me." Seeing that she was still struggling, Lee tried a different tactic. "Starbuck listen to me." Still nothing. "Either you stop struggling or you're grounded for life, Starbuck."

Suddenly Kara's head shot up and she looked straight into Lee's eyes. She just stared at him for a few seconds, eerily calm, before her mouth opened, and her eyes began tearing up. "Lee?"

Lee smiled at her. "It's me."

There was no change for a moment, and then it seemed as if the flood gates opened. Kara threw herself into his arms, holding onto him for dear life as great sobs wracked her body, a steady mantra of "Lee, Lee, Lee" falling from her lips.

Lee closed his eyes tightly as tears threatened to escape. He buried his face in her hair, drawing her scent in. Gods, he'd missed her. "I'm here Kara. I'm here."

---


	6. Chapter 6

A.N.- Thanks to those people who have reviewed. Sorry, I'm a little sidetracked by a new idea brought on by the newest episode from Friday, so I might not update as frequently as I have been, but I will still update on a regular basis. Let me know if the story starts to lag. Thanks!

Kara could hear the people around her, moving, talking, but she kept her eyes closed. If she opened them then they would want to talk to her, ask her questions, and she couldn't handle that. She didn't want to see anyone. She didn't want to see the guilt. She didn't want to see the pity, hear the empty offers of help. She didn't want anyone.

Except Lee.

How ironic, that the whole time she'd been imprisoned, it was not the thought of her husbands that kept her alive, but her best friend who she hadn't spoken with in almost a year.

Maybe it was because she knew on some subconscious level that her only hope lie with Lee. It's not that she didn't think Anders wouldn't try, she just knew that Lee wouldn't just try, he'd succeed. He wouldn't give up, ever. Not when there was even a chance that she would still be alive.

And what did it say that Anders couldn't break her out of her almost vegetative state, but a few words from Lee, and she was a sobbing mess in his arms.

She supposed that that should have been a signal of her feelings, but at the time she hadn't really been worrying over that sort of thing. Now, it was all she thought about. At least it kept other, less pleasant thoughts from returning.

Although nothing could keep the nightmares from coming.

---

_"It's God's plan, Kara. We are supposed to be together. You'll see. One day you'll give in, and we'll be a real family, you, me, and Kacey," Leobon cooed._

_Kara stared at him. "We'll be a family in your sick twisted mind because none of this is real!"_

_"Okay, you want to play like that? We'll play like that. One day you will come to me, and when that day comes I will rejoice, but in the mean time I think I should teach you a little lesson."_

_As Kara once again opened her eyes, she was only mildly surprised to find herself back in the cell, the humanoid cylons surrounding her._

_Leobon stared at her, eyes cold. "Show her what happens when we don't get our way."_

_As the first foot found hold between two of her ribs, she wondered if she would live after this time._

_Except something was different this time. Usually there wasn't a voice calling her name..._

_  
"Kara. Kara!"_

_---_

"Kara! Wake up!"

Kara jerked awake, eyes wide, body coated with sweat, to see Anders above her. Recoiling, she looked around her. Where was Lee? "Lee?"

Anders stilled as if frozen. Then, a hard look came into his eyes. "He's getting food. Doc Cottle ordered him to."

Kara looked back up at Sam, only now realizing how that must have sounded. She knew she should feel guilty, but at the moment she just couldn't bring himself to care. Still, she might as well try to make amends. "Sorry."

Sam just sighed. "It's okay."

Kara looked back up at Sam at that, wonder filling her at his lack of anger, finally looking into his eyes. _Ah, so that's why he doesn't care. Guilt, _she mused. _But why would he feel guilty?_

Kara just stared at him for a few minutes, until it came to her. "You never even thought to try, did you?"

Anders reeled back, sputtering in an attempt to explain himself. "Kara, you have to understand-"

"I risked my life, my family, my _home_ for you, and you can't even think to look for me?"

"Kara-"

"Get out."

Anders stood in place a while longer, only moving once Lee entered. He stood at the doorway, unsure of what to do, until Anders moved away from the bed. "Fine. I'll leave for now, but this isn't over, Kara. I mean-"

"Get the frak out NOW!" She yelled. Lee moved forward, laying his hand on Kara's shoulder as Andes turned and walked away, head bowed.

After Anders had left Kara turned to Lee. "Hey."

Lee smiled down at her, and Kara was struck by the fact that it was a purely Lee smile, the one he used to give her before everything got so messed up, before he swore never to see her again. "Hey yourself. How you feeling?"

Kara shrugged and instead pointed to the papers in his hand. "Those for me?"

Lee laughed. "No they're for me. I'm so far behind that I think it'll take me a year just to get caught up. I was going to sit her and do it while I waited for you to wake up."

"Oh. Well I'm awake."

"I can tell," Lee replied. He was silent for a moment, before his eyes turned serious. "Kara..."

"You want to know what happened, right?"

Lee stayed silent. Kara sighed. Well, she'd have to talk about it eventually.

"You'd better sit down, this will take a while.

"He came for me about a week after the cylons first landed..."

---

"...and then she woke up here, in sickbay," Lee finished.

"And she doesn't have any idea at all who rescued her?" Roslin asked.

"None."

Roslin looked towards Adama. The man in turn sighed. "Let's just thank the Gods that she's back with us, safe and sound, and be done with it."

"I couldn't agree more, sir."

"She's going to need all the support she can get, but she won't want to be coddled. Let's just focus on getting our girl back."

"Yes, sir."

"Dismissed."

Lee saluted his father and Roslin, and walked out. Roslin turned to Bill. As she looked him over, she could see the exhaustion on his face, deeper than normal, yet something new was there as well. Happiness. Relief.

Roslin shook her head. She didn't know what it was about Kara Thrace, but that woman had the ability to get the Adama men to do unthinkable things, and she wasn't so sure that was a bad thing anymore.


End file.
